Monday, October 29, 2007

From when words meant something. . .

There was a time when words were used beautifully. These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language was boiled down to four-letter words!

The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd take it."

Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, sir," said Disraeli, "On whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - "Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts - for support rather than illumination. " - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." – Groucho Marx

Thursday, October 25, 2007


When I get to England I am going to see every god damned concert that is playing!
Possibily even ones I don't know, and might not even like.... I want to see Ani and Hammel and Tori its not fair no good or even kinda good bands come to NZ the last time someone came that I wanted to see was the Dresden Dolls and I couldn't go see them coz it was right before I got married and so we had to save money. And anyway that was over a year ago. The last time Tori came to NZ was back in 95 (i think) and I didn't even know much about her then. Ani came a couple of years ago (4 I think) and that was a good concert but she hasn't been back since and I love concerts and when I go to england I am going to see every thing that plays.... as long as its not sport.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Beauty School Drop Out

So come Firday I plan to be swaning around in a fabulous silver shimery dress with toilet rolls stuck to me head! Sound like fun? Did I mention that this evening comes with all you can drink vino? Amber and I and our fairy friend plan to sip wine look amazing (or at least interesting) and sing at the top of our lungs this Friday night at the Grease sing along. Apparently tickets have been sold out for a while and so it should be a great night for all.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

New Look

I decided it was time for a new look.
and for all of the one people who probably read this I must apologise for my slackness of late.... Its that damn Bebo and its seductive-ness.
It is sooo much fun.
But I will keep up with the posts. Mel you are possibily the only person who reads them now but thats okay.
Any way I am watching Nine at the moment... it is actually turning out to be quite good, tho I had low expectations as it is American but I think I might even end up watching it on a weekly basis.
Its really funny to see Scott Wolfe is something other than Party Of Five. (yes I admit it, I watched it)
Anyway time for this old fart to go to sleep.
good night

Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Giant Jam Sandwich and Other Classicss

So anyone remember this book?
It has become alarmingly noticeable that certian classic books that my wife and I grew up with have become hard to find in bookstores these days.

Among the our favourites are "My Cat Likes to Hide in Boxes" and "Are You My Mother". Also seems to be missing is "Dear Zoo". These are books that we grew up with. and we want them to be around for us to read to our kids. however at the present time it would seem that the only place they can be found is on-line. Being really rather anal about these things I have now written up lists of books that Amber and I are going to buy before they can no longer be found anywherere... I fear it is just a matter of time before they all disappear completely and I want to be sure that we have them all before they do. I am sorry to report that this seems to have already happened with one such book that I remember from my younger days..... I can not recal the title or the author ( Who knew that when I was eight that I would have the need for these things) but I loved the story and now it is gone. All I can remember is the story line and the problem is that I am so fustrated with myself because it is enough to know that I really want to find this book so I can own it but I can't remember enough about it to track it down.

So in a futile attempt at getting hold of this particular book I am searching through the 32,000 titles of "Children's Picture Books" on in the hope that it will magically appear while I am looking. So far I have gone through over 5,000 titles with no success.

If anyone out there can remember a book about a statue in a park that comes to life in the full moon when she sees a young man in the park she is in by himself and she asks the moon if she can go to him and the moon replies "be back at your pedastel before the sun comes up least he be turned to stone".

So she goes to him, and dances with the young man who falls in love with her and when dawn comes she kisses his eyelids and he falls into a deep sleep. She returns to her pedastel where she becomes a statue again. Every month he returns to the same park hoping to dance with the lady again. Then because he can't stand it when she leaves him at the end of the night he goes to an apothecary and gets a draft so that he won't fall asleep when she kisses his eyelids so he can follow her.

So the following month he returns to the park and she comes to life and dances with the man and as the night comes to an end she kisses his eyelids to make him fall into a enchanted sleep so she may slip away, but he doesn't fall asleep and won't let her go and he keeps asking her questions about where she runs away to why she won't stay with him and in the end she stays with him too long and sun comes up and she turns to stone as does he.

They remain as statues until the light of the full moon where they can dance together again until the sun comes up and they are both once again turned to statues where they are still found to this day......

Anyway thats it that is the book that I am looking for so if anybody out there can remember anything about it like the title for example then please let me know because it is driving me crazy that I can't find it anywhere.....

Please somebody come and put me out of my misery, oh and buy your favourite childrens books before they disappear forever.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Where are the Ghosts????

Ok, so Shelley and I went to see Harry and the Order last night (for those of you that don't understand my short hand there that's Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix) and it was better than Goblet (although considering they RUINED the movie version of Goblet, this isn't hard) but I just have one question: Where are the ghosts???

(by the way, if you haven't read and/or seen this one, and you plan to at some stage, I would stop reading now, I will be Spoiling things for you)

There was no Nearly-Headless Nick, no Bloody Baron and, and this one really bugs me, NO PEEVES!! One of my fave parts of this book (and admittedly, there aren't many, this one is kinda a middle book if you know what I mean - vital for some of the info it imparts, but just not really that exciting) is when the Weasley's leave Hogwarts and say "Give her hell for us Peeves" and Peeves, well, makes things "interesting" for Umbridge. . .and all of the teachers turn a blind eye and semi encourage him. . .it's BRILLIANT and really shows that Hogwarts is, and always will be Dumbledore's and that no matter what the Ministry does to interfere and try to change this, its just not going to happen. And yet, it's just not there. . .NO GHOSTS at all, not even just floating around in the distance. Which means no Peeves to give her hell for the Weasley's! This truly did suck and was definitely a downer for the movie. . .and THEN, the statues at the end in the battle at the ministry, they come to life in the book. . .but do they in the movie??? no. (Amber mutters under breath: stupid statues)
And, while I'm ranting: what is it about Stupid Americans (yes, I said it: Stupid American's, I mean really; the first time Bush stole the election but then, THEN, you re-elect him? yes, I've said it once and I'll say it again: Stupid Americans). Anyway, slightly off track there, where was I, oh yes, what is it about Stupid American's changing the titles of things??? I mean honestly, Harry Potter and the PHILOSOPHERS stone (NOT Sorcerors stone as they insisted on calling it) was bad enough, but now, now, another of mine and Shelley's favourite Young Adult's/Kid's book series is being made into a movie. The series is His Dark Materials (and if you haven't read it, you seriously should, it's REALLY good - like Narnia, but actually dealing with sexuality. . .and then, not at all like Narnia at the same time) and the fist book is called NORTHERN LIGHTS. . .at least, everywhere but America where it's called "The Golden Compass" and guess what the movie is being released as? That's right, The Golden Compass. . .Stupid Americans. Anyway, I did promise my wife I wouldn't rant about this too much in between now and when it comes out. . .but I just had to get that off my chest. . .Also, if any of you want to read it (and you should, did I mention yet how cool it is???), we own all three in the series, so just let us know and we'll lend them to you :)
Oh and also, Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson were always kinda cute, but, when did they get HOT??? And is it wrong of me to be drooling over Harry Potter and Hermione?
Ok, enough crazy rambling and ranting from me. . .sorry for the spoilers. . .

Sunday, June 24, 2007


So this is what a bruise from a paintball gun looks like after 6 days!!! Ambers brother had a birthday recently and he decided that for his special day he wanted to go and play paintball tag. This is all very well and good and being the fact that Amber and I are NOT girly girls we thought we would go along as it sounded like fun.... which it was, it was just very painful. We rocked on in to the establishment where the action was going to take place and noticed that a lot of the other people that were going to play with us were wearing camouflaged gear and they looked like they were wearing quite a few layers also. I got a little bit worried at this point but my wife reassured me that all would be fine.

It was NOT fine. The problem with playing with this game is that some people take it way too seriously... It would appear that the many layers of clothing help to lessen the pain from the impact of the pallets. It would also appear that unlike us they knew how much it hurt when you got shot with paintball pallets hence all the layers.

The following day we were both purple and never did I see such a pretty coloured bruise as the one pictured above (remember this photo was taken 6 days after the event). Since then we have both come to the conclusion that paintball tag will not be added on to our list of fun things that we want to do again someday.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


SO now i'm another year older and for the first time it actually feels like the years are catching up with me. We had a few birthday drinks, it was all pretty tame, I didn't even get that drunk. The house didn't get trashed we didn't have any complaints from noise control and i think i made it to bed before 3am. Why oh why then did i feel the next morning as if i had the seven dwarfs mining in my skull with a few of their buddies? As if this wasn't enough to already make me feel as if the times of drinking until dawn was over, sunday night confirmed the old fart i have become. I couldn't even stay awake until C.S.I. for you overseas people C.S.I. is on at 8:30pm. I actually went to bed before it even started as i was falling asleep on the couch. I can remember way back a long long time ago, partying all thursday through to sunday sometime and still only needing about 4 hours sleep before dragging myself off to school. Granted I wasn't Head Girl and I did do some sleeping in class, but my point is that i used to be able to handle the jandal and now i most definitely can not!!!!
Any way its time for me to go and get on with my knitting while I catch up on my Coronation Street.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007


So me and the amber have been living alone for a whole 3 days now and i must tell you it is bliss. Gone are the yucky boy smells from the house, gone are the piles of dishes, I think that the most anoying thing about our previous living arrangements however was the not being able to flee to the bathroom in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning with out first having to put something on. So the wife and I are in our own little happy state doing what we like when we like and not having to worry about someone else. I must admit it was really nice being cooked for almost every night but I am sure that newly weds should not have to cope with shared living arrangements, I am sure that we should get some sort of special rights about this sort of thing. I am really looking forward to when the spare room is all aired out from bad boy smells and we can make it pretty. Also it will be much easier when our friends come and stay, they won't have to sleep on the couch.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

The Russians Are Coming!!!

A reserve tickets are only $125.00 each and it is in Auckland. Anybody want to go? Anybody want to buy me a ticket??? (oh and Kitty will want one also)
They are doing Giselle (for the Whendon freaks it featured in an episode of Angel and had River from Fire Fly as the Prima Ballerina)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I hate dentishts!

sho, I've been walking aroung talking like thish a lot over the last couple of daysh and being compared to a chimpunk/squirrel, you know, the ones that store food in their cheeksh. . .Ok, so I haven't really been talking like that, but you get the drift. . .four wisdom teeth out in one surgery is not fun! Although, at least I got to keep them (my god, those things are HUGE!!!) and I'm ASSURED that the Tooth Fairy pays good for Wisdom Teeth :) Which is an upside to all of the pain and torment of the last couple of days. . .but, I'm finally starting to be able to see my jawline again and although I'm still finding it hard to chew and open my mouth wider, I'm no longer counting down the hours until I can have my next dose of painkillers. . .yay me :)
Well, needless to say (as there has been nothing in the news about an unidentified body being found) the boy didn't get hit on the back of the head and left in the middle of the desert road (either that or he just hasn't been found yet, mwahahaha). . .no seriously, the trip to Wellington was AWESOME, we spent far too much on books and music (but these ARE two things that neither of us can really live without, so in a way, it wasn't REALLY too much as there's no such thing as too much) and we went to the Zoo!!!! (picture me doing a little Dance of Joy at this point as I remember the joy of all of the animals. . .yay for animals) and we stood like a metre away from a HUGE Lioness as she was fed (and if I was less of a realist than what I am I'd be whimpering at what she was eating, but as I am a realist I look at it from the point of view that they wouldn't be anyone's pets and Rabbits ARE a pest in New Zealand) and, may I just say, I don't think that you can really appreciate just how MASSIVE a Lioness is until you are less than a metre away from one with just a pane of glass (admittedly, safety glass, but still. . .) between you and her. . .it's an amazing feeling and one that I would like to repeat but in the wild (and with obviously slightly more space and no glass between her and I). . .
Anyway, now that I've completely confused you all. . .I shall go. . . and if any bodies turn up anywhere, it wasn't us. . .LOL
(seriously though, he IS ok, he's behind me making dinner at the moment, I SWEAR that I didn't lose my temper at him!)

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Blunt Force Trauma to the Back of the Skull....

So another weekend is over and it is back to work. We generally make all these plans for a weekend and then spend it on the couch watching movies. I think it is because when the weekend finally roles around we can't be bothered actually doing anything. This weekend at least shall be different because we are all taking a road trip. All of us. I think that it is possibly not such a great idea to take the boy with us but its too late now as we have been planning it for a couple of weeks however i think there is a very real possibility that the wife might have to bash him in the head with a blunt object and leave his ass somewhere along the desert road.... We have friends who assure us that it take ages for a body to be found around there.....

Monday, March 26, 2007


What I have problems understanding at this point is how the jury did not find Mr Rickards guilty. The whole trial was stacked in favour of the accused and by suppressing the fact that Shipton and Schollum were already convicted rapists meant that the jury never really understood what these men were capable of. Now as for the assistant police commissioner himself what kind of a man is remains friends with men who have been convicted for a crime when his career should be about upholding the law and generally being a good and decent citizen? My issue with this whole subject is that only a very tiny amount of reported rape cases make it to trial and the statistics show that this number is getting smaller every year. If the very people who are supposed to be the ones who protect you from crimes are in fact the one's who comment them (like these men) then, who are you supposed to turn to for help?

And now as if the reputation of the police had not already been blackened enough there is once again in the spotlight police having mass orgies and being filmed while doing so. The news states that Ms King wants a full explanation but in reality as long as we are content to find no fault with the police who seem to be untouchable why should things change?

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Post Office

So now I know what Bukowski was blabbing about all those years ago (Rob if your still with us, yes I had to look up the spelling of Bukowski) I have a brand spanking new job. Goody. In case you are wondering what this has to do with a alcoholic author dear readers (if there really is anybody reading this), once upon a time Bukowski also worked at the post office. (my new job) I used to find Bukowsi's rants rather amusing and had many a chuckle about how he portrayed people who used to "annoy" him. Well having worked for NZ Post for exactly 8 days i can simpathise. I never realised before how people you never even met can annoy you but now having delt with their mistakes for a week and a bit i can totally understand why he wrote the things he did.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

the cute bunch of fluff

Thankfully the wonderful lady at the Humane Alternative took her and put her in with a mumma cat and her kittens. It looks like she will be accepted into a new family, which is great. I'm all for adoption.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

an early morning rant.....

so here i am sitting here guzzling my second cup of coffee of the morning all because of the early morning start. We found a kitten in our backyard last night. A tensy tiny kitten who is soooo cute and the way it was miowing we gathered that it had been a while since she had last been fed. So we have been feeding her. I don't mind feeding her but I am pissed about how we came to be looking after her. I asked my neighbours about her (their cat has just had a litter of kittens so originally we thought that the kitty we had found was from her litter) it turns out that the probable mother of this kitten is a stray that they feed sometimes. This is where the rant comes in: why can't people look after their animals? it isn't excatly rocket science. There are so many cats in this neighbourhood that the Wife thinks we should be re-named Kittywell or Catwell. I would love to do a door-to-door Jeohovah Witness type thing round here to tell people that they should get their animals de-sexed and not abandon them when they "don't feel" like looking after them anymore. Now i am going to spend sometime trying to find this kitten a home before the wife falls in love with her and starts giving me "that look". I feel really bad about it though because she keeps crying and since she has been fed i can only guess that its her mum that she wants and now that i am going to attempt to find a home for her, she won't get returned to her mum who seems to have abandoned her anyway. It seems like a really crappy start to the world for the little baby and if some wanking human had never abandoned the kittens mother then more than likely i would not be sitting here feeling like shit because i am listening to a kitten that will_not_stop_crying.
Rant over.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

expectorating 2

And now we have the extremely SEXY stockings that they make you wear to stop you from get a blood clot as you lie in bed. . .bruises that were left on my arm from EV-AL people trying to get a line in. . .my scars a few days afterwards and just cause I can Our Babies, Albus (the little Bunbun) and Monkey (The Guinea Pig - my Little Man) sleeping on me just after we got Albus. . .Unfortunately I don't have any photos of my stomach all unblemished (not recent ones anyway) and no new ones of the scars now (although they do look HEAPS better now). . .
Simon is home for good now and I'm going to go now and let you all marvel at photos. . .ok, I just can't think of anything else to write now and S is watching a DVD that I want to watch too. . .
Go to Illinois and speak English!!!

Expectorating from a two storey building

Did you know that it's illegal to speak English in Illinois? Apparently you can only speak American there. . .
It's also illegal to expectorate (you are allowed to check in a dictionary to find out what that means - we did) from a two storey building. . .
Anyway, now that we've fully proven that I am REALLY useless at this whole Blogging thing. . .Here are all of the photos that I keep promising you all. . .I'm doing this over a couple of blogs b/c there's just too many of them for just on blog. . .I'm also trying to give them to you in chronologcal order
First up we have me before the surgery, I'm clutching my teddy bear cos I'm a TEENSY bit nervous, here is also me all doped up on Morphine. . .and my wounds as they looked just after surgery. . .I barely remember these last two photos being taken as I was doing my whole "too tired to remember to breathe" thing that day. . .

Monday, January 15, 2007

I suck at this. . .

Ok, so it's been a month since the surgery and in that time I have thought of about a million things that I would write on this blog (such as the fact that I can't spell morphine, which apparently only has one 'e' although the way through to actually telling what the "three easy steps" are towards losing your kidney) but have I yet managed to write even one blog? No. . .not since I told you all how the recovery was going. . .
So, I suck at this. . .actually setting the computer up and connecting to the net and typing just sounds like too much effort when you're lying on the couch reading a good book. . .
But now, here I am back at work and there is a computer sitting in front of me. . . so I just thought I'd let you all know that, yes, I suck at this, but I haven't forgotten that I promised photos! The camera has been up in Auckland with Si, but he brought it back with him on the weekend (he's doing so good he's gone from daily clinics to three a week clinics which means he can come home on the weekend) and we downloaded the photos to the laptop, so tonight (or maybe tomorrow night. . .hopefully sometime this week anyway, I wouldn't really hold your breath due to the fact that, as previously stated, I suck at this. . .) I plan on posting photos of my bruises and my wounds. . .and our new dwarf bunny who we got to be a friend for our guinea pig cause he was lonely. . .
Anyway, lunch is over so it's back to work I go!!